I'm pretty sure that offspring of slave-free unions are slaves unless the free parent prefers otherwise, in which case the child is brought into the free parent's clan. The clans will usually prefer that members come from free parents, but if the parent of a child wants it in the clan, it will usually happen. Dulahan is probably right about their status though, children of slaves, even if clan-members, will probably have lower status in and out of the clan.
As noted, women can chew lisutl root to prevent unintended pregnancy. There's been no mention of contraceptives available to men.
All priestesses and female soldiers are Aridani, except perhaps in the most matriarchal regions of the north, where women are recognized as full people by default, and the claiming of Aridani isn't as big a deal. Even there it's probably usually a recognized part of growing up, sort of a coming-of-age ritual. In the patriarchal south it's certainly necessary.
I think the priestly training that occurs before age 14 is usually just the standard schooling for higher status children. Medium and higher level clans often (nearly always as you go up the status ladder) send their kids to an appropriate temple school, or arrange for teaching by priests or scholars in the clanhouse. Most of these kids aren't expected to go on to priestly service in that temple, it's just that the temples handle primary education. It's most often Thumis priests on the Stability side, and Ksarul for Change. However, especially in areas where one temple is particularly strong, or a clan is particularly devout, other temples may teach kids (e.g. the Flame in Fasiltum, Belkhanu in Thraya, the City of Sarku).
I imagine it's very rare for a woman to be forced into Aridani status against her will. If a clan has promised a daughter to a temple, that child will be reared with that role in everyone's mind, including her own, and she is unlikely to resist in favor of staying in the clanhouse. If she did, she'd get a lot of pressure from the clan to "do her duty," but if she was steadfast in her refusal, they'd probably back off and pick another daughter. If she was that reluctant, it would reflect badly on the clan when she got to the temple, so better to choose a more willing candidate. Of course the refuser's place in the clanhouse would probably be uncomfortable for the rest of her life, unless she found a way to marry very well indeed, or in some other way redeem herself.
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